Tears in America (14)

  • #3956719
    dust in the wind 107.***.79.91 188

    Two More Sisters Enter Our Family

    Not long after we moved to the marketplace, the two younger sisters I had
    suddenly became four. The third was born, and before we had even settled
    into life with her, the fourth arrived two years later. In what felt like a breadth,
    our small family expanded into a noisy, bustling household. With every new
    child, the rhythm of our days grew more hectic, and on weekends when I
    wasn’t in school, I sometimes stepped in for my mother, keeping an eye on the
    babies as they crawled around the room.

    Most of those moments have faded from memory, but one scene remains
    vivid. I would lie on my back, place a baby on my shins, hold their tiny arms,
    and lift them gently up and down. Each time I raised them, they burst into
    bright, bubbling laughter. The third did that. So did the fourth. Their joy was
    simple, immediate, and complete–something I didn’t appreciate then, but
    remember now with a kind of tenderness.

    Much later, I learned from my grandmother why my father kept trying for more
    children. Having only one son made him uneasy; he wanted another.
    Considering how difficult it must have been to raise five children with so little,
    the fact that he tried anyway shows just how deeply Korean society valued
    sons at the time. From his perspective, though, he must have felt a quiet
    disappointment: more children, yes, but not the second son he had hoped for.

    But now, with decades gone by–my mother gone, my father at ninety–I find
    myself seeing the story differently. In the end, my father had unknowingly
    prepared for the future. I, the eldest and the only son, struggled just to
    manage my own life and drifted away from my parents when they needed
    support. Meanwhile, the youngest–who had not been born a son–became
    the one who stayed by their side in their final years. My other sisters also took
    turns caring for them, but the youngest carried the longest stretch of that
    responsibility. Had she not been born, my parents’ old age would have been
    far more difficult.

    And so the irony becomes clear only in hindsight. The son my father had
    pinned his hopes on could not even take care of himself, let alone his parents,
    while the daughters he had once been disappointed about became the ones
    who supported him and my mother in their twilight years. What would have
    happened if those daughters–especially the youngest–had never entered
    our family?

    Life never reveals its future in advance. We only understand its logic when we
    look back.

    • dust in the wind 107.***.79.91

      Why I’m choosing to post my personal memoir in this space:
      Committing my reflections to a public forum, where they may be read by many,
      encourages a greater degree of objectivity in my writing. Were I to confine these
      thoughts solely to a private journal, I would be far more susceptible to drifting into
      purely subjective emotion. Moreover, the possibility that these entries may be viewed
      by unfamiliar readers gives me confidence that, in time, sharing them with my family will
      feel natural and unencumbered.

      As for writing in English, it is not out of any desire to impress. Rather, it is because
      my son, who doesn’t read Korean well, will need to be able to understand these accounts someday.
      I therefore ask for the readers’ understanding.

      (There is an additional consideration: the material is deeply personal, and
      expressing it in Korean feels, in an unexpected way, uncomfortably intimate.)

    • 흐미 24.***.46.114

      번역기 돌린, 이런 영혼없는 완벽한 문법의 글은,, 정말 짜증남..

      • 고양이자세 155.***.189.104

        전형적인 한국 수능영어지문 ㅋㅋㅋ 그래머는 틀리지않앗는데 한국어를 영어로 해석하니까 뉘앙스가다름

    • 고양이자세 155.***.189.104

      한국어를 그대로 영어로 해석하면서 뉘앙스가 왜 다르나면

      셋째 넷째가 the third, the fourth가 되버림

      who supported him and my mother in their twilight years. => 미국살면서 twilight years 들어본적이업음. 한국에서나 ‘황혼기’ 같은단어 자주쓰지 미국에선 잘안씀

      근데 수능영어지문도 이꼬라지임 ㅋㅋㅋ