Hi. I am a Korean male in early 30’s currently dating a Taiwanese girl of the same age. We have met through professional contact and so far both getting along very well… I must admit that I am totally crazy about her and she is crazy about me as well. However, during one of our conversations I found out that she used to date a white boyfriend before. In addition to that, she admitted to having been intimate with him several times while they dated. Now, I am a gentleman and I don’t go into doing “wild thing” straightaway. Initially, this discovery didn’t really affect me. However, after some time passed, I started to think about this more and more… now it’s really getting to me in my thoughts. I try to let it go and think of it as a past deed, but I can’t erase the mental picture of her and her ex in my mind!! I am going insane about this… Obviously, I didn’t tell my girlfriend about this, but I don’t know how to calm my thoughts… was it a mistake to openly discuss our past? I told her of my ex-girlfriends and even told her ‘how many’… but she didn’t seem to be affected by that. Why, oh, why, on the other hand, do I feel such a pang of jealousy and pain??? I try to appear as calm and not affected about this whenever I am with her… but deep inside me, I feel so hurt. Why should I feel this way?

Get over yourself! it is not jealousy, but you are insecure…have some faith in yourself. You loves her and she loves you.

Having sex with someone you love is very special. You don’t want to talk about it with someone else even you are in love with that someone now. Just keep it in your heart as a good memory. And you don’t want to ask other for his or her “memory”.. Rule #1

A형 이세요? 전 보통 여자 만나오면서 과거는 묻지만 듣고 그냥 잊어버리는 편였습니다. 아마도, 저도 그 여자보다 더하면 더 했지 덜하지 않다고 생각했기때문인지… 모든게 대부분 그런거 같아요. 지난 잘못은 본인이 뉘우치되, 남인 제가 비방하는건 싸움을 불러일으킬 뿐이에요. 만약에 참지 못 하시면 어쩌실건가요? 헤어지셔야겠네요. 여자의 과거때문에.

To be honest with you, this is YOUR problem, not her problem. That she had a white boyfriend currently does not exist, and only memory of it exists. It is not a current event. The current events are that you and she have the knowledge of it, and that you are angry about it. Why are you so angry? Because she had an intimate relationship with a white man? Why did you ask her if they had been intimate in the first place? In fact, your knowledge of it doesn’t matter because what they did was NATURAL because they were boyfriend and girlfriend. You need to ask yourself why you are so frustrated and angry about what does not exist anymore. Perhaps you are insecure, especially about white males. Perhaps you are not that mature in terms of relationship. If you can’t get over this, again, this is YOUR problem, and you should let her go because you are not ready for a mature relationship. Another current event is that you and she love each other. That exists. If your relationship with her will be ruined for her past, it will be YOU who will ruin it, not she or her past. By the way, I’m a 37-years old Korean male.

본인은 전혀 성경험이 없어서 뭔가 손해본 느낌이라 그러시는건지… 아니면 잠재적으로 이전 상대들과 비교되길 두려워서 그러시는건지… 아니면 ‘백인’이었다는게 걸리시는지… 스스로 답을 찾아보시고 본인은 무엇때문에 그것보다 우월하다고 최면을 걸어보세요…

저같은 경우는 오히려 그런게 더 자극(?)이 되서 좋던데… (제가 좀 이상한듯 하긴 합니다만…) 연애나 섹스나 전혀 경험이 없는 상대는 더 불안합니다.. 나이가 있으신만큼 이제 그런거 못받아들이시면 상대찾기가 더 어렵겠죠?

과거가 그 사람일수는 있지만 그 과거가 그 사람의 현재이고 미래일수는 없다고 생각해요. 옛 남친을 사귀었지만 현재는 님과 함께 있는 것이고, 과거에 집착한다고 해서 현재 나아지는 것은 아무것도 없을텐데요. 그 과거라는 사실을 인정하지 못 한다면 점점 더 괴로워지지 않겠어요?

저나 제 남친은 서로에게 과거 연애 경험을 이야기했지만, 그건 과거의 사실일뿐 지금 두 사람의 관계에 충실히 한다면 아무 문제없다고 동의했습니다. 오히려 연애 경험없는 사람과 연애한다는 것이 쉽지가 않던데요. 연애에 대한 환상을 참 많이 갖고 있더라구요.

her love story looks just as typical as any others having their past. it shoulda been acceptable to you unless you were looking for a pure virgin. technically, there is no virgin in the states.

anyway, i just want to point out problems with when she is cheating and fooling you around while the relationship is developed. my point also includes you trying to assist her late homework in your palace. when that happens, just flip off. dont try to understand everything and solve her problem. then, she will drag you into swamp that slowly shorten your lifespan.

you know? woman turned out evil after eve took the fruit in the garden of eden. in other words, woman in nature easily compromises with a better deal. financially speaking, they consistently look for more rights as turning down liability that also comes along with a bad management. you dont need to manipulate them at all. they normally trap themselves so dont go crazy with a BAD deal…. dump it and look for a better deal..

i had a taiwanese girl friend too. she was so cool, even when saying bye. take it easy man…

Hi. Thanks for your words. The reason I felt so crushed was because she kept telling me how wonderful her sexual encounters with this ex-boyfriend were. How wonderfully compatible the two were… and we haven’t had sex yet! This really crushed me. I felt like an invisible man. I wasn’t jealous of a white boyfriend. I’ve known all along that she wasn’t a virgin, and I decided that she was the one for me.

I guess it was just the disrespect that I felt (about her flounting of her ex’s sexual compatibility with her) that I didn’t know what to say, or what to do about it… I am still mulling about this whole thing… whether I can let this go… or should I let her go? It’s crushing me, and I wonder if I can bring this to her attention? I wonder why some girls are so mean? I felt so so sad. My heart feels like a ton. (Mind you, had it been any other girls, I would have moved on… but this one is so special..)

now you figured that out she was a friend girl, not a girlfriend,

I am your crazy fan Jason!!!!!!!!

then, she is a female friend not a girlfriend!

women never and ever talks about her sexual experiences to her boyfriend. specailly, she loves him….
and please, grow up!

i would say grow a pair.

길손님, 한국사람 세명중 한명은 A형입니다. 애도 아니고 아직까지 혈액형 가지고 사람 구분하려 한다니 우습네요.
그리고 원글님, 그거 열등감입니다. 자신을 가져요. 육체적으로 크다고 여자에게 만족을 주는것 아닙니다. 심리적 요인이 더커요. 심리적으로도 벌써 진것 같아 보여서 안됐긴 하지만..

jaded, sorry if my short term solution was hurting you.. it seems to turn out that you knocked on the wrong door. you will probably want to enter hospital and look for a doctor who can surgically enhance your pistol, and go pharmacy to get some helps from steroid and viagra. after all, dont be too gentle, take her wild, and knock down her. also, contact with your local doctor immediately when a side effect is found; when your erection doesnt go away within 24 hrs.