Reply Edit: Tears in America (10)

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All the women in our family - me, my mother, my grandmother - have suffered mental illness due to paternal abuse that stems from my grandfather generation - of whose family w/o their offsprings (or my uncles and aunts) - had a bit of eerie feel. One time the 2nd wife of my 'granddad' was hanging their pet dog by outside the apartment veranda for me to see. I got scared, walked away and never went back to their premise ever since then.

I is true it was my grandmother who've been acting as my second 'mom', since it was my mom who had to be the breadwinner after divorcing my biological dad.. Of whom had a lot of human faults of her own I think &amp; can only understood by the direct family member, of which that happens to be me. ..I once got upset at my grandma believing that she forced my mom to have me and beget me out into this dreadful life with the worst man she could get for her daughter, but she wouldn't tell further - since I was still that grandbaby to her, nothing more.

I watch 그것이 알고싶다 or sometimes 추적 60분/창 to understand that there are others struggling besides me atm. While I do get traditional values do matter esp. in Korean society, I can't help being young and wanting to expand upon the remaining time no matter what. That is even in a confined situation that was all throughout my life.

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